Monday, May 10, 2010

Week 3: The Good, The Bad, and The Beautiful....

So much has happened since my last entry, I started writing this one a few times but quite honestly wasn't really inspired so I just waited to write it. And what do you know? It's 4am and I can't sleep so I thought I'd catch up ...

I was really looking forward to finally getting to meet my new foot as I was going to see my doctor for my follow up. John and my mom drove me into NYC for the appointment. I was really excited for this, a moment 5 years in the making. I could tell my doctor was really busy so he got right to work by taking off the first cast, which was a little scary. I know he is a great doctor and this was a minor thing to him, but when you see that little saw cutting so close to your leg it's a little nerve-wrecking. I honestly didn't know what to expect...wasn't sure how I would react. At first, it looked a little gross because the first thing I saw were the stitches and the blood on the cotton. And the more he peeled off, the more my absolutely gorgeous foot peeked out to say "Hello" to me. I was speechless (if you know me, you know those moments are hard to come by). And then a wave of emotions started to run through me...of happiness, of accomplishment, and a little weird because the foot was so beautiful and as a person who never had a beautiful foot, I felt like they attached someone else's foot onto my body. The arch was almost non-existent, my toes were perfect straight, and my foot was so long!!! I was a size 6.5 in high school and through the years, my foot has shrunken down to a size 5.5 - 5. My new foot is definitely at least one shoe size bigger!

DISCLAIMER: I'm going to post the pictures here and I hope they don't upset anyone. As the title of this blog reads, this is my journey and I've been waiting for these "after" pictures for a long time!

First, a recap...this is the picture of my old foot:

And this is my new beautiful foot ... despite all the bruising, swelling and my new cool scar:

I was so happy and overcome with emotions that I cried. Cried because a wave of memories washed over me, back to 2004 when I started my diagnosis process, searching for answers. Back to 2005 when the first doctor suggested surgery and I balked at the thought. I thought of all the pain that I've had with my calluses, of all the difficult shoe shopping trips I would force myself to go on to try to find a decent pair of shoes to wear to work, to a nice event, or just to be comfortable. Happy that this is a new beginning for me and that even though we are only at the start, this proved to me that I made the right decision. 

My doctor was extremely pleased with what he saw, he said he couldn't have done anything better or different than what he did. That the foot is healing beautifully, that the swelling is very normal for where we are. He actually seemed to admire his work of art a couple of times. I didn't mind at all because that work of art happens to be attached to my body :)  He also told me he thinks I am very brave, that when he met me he didn't think I would be doing as well as I am...something John has also said to me. I know there's a light insult in there somewhere lol...but I choose to see the compliment and that made me very happy.

I got a new cast and will be in it for another 4 weeks. I return to the doctor's office on June 1 when they will remove that and put me in a boot and hopefully I will be able to start putting some weight on my foot. We were so excited that we went out to eat to celebrate.

The good and the beautiful came together....the bad came when the doctor said I need to start weaning off the pain medication. Instead of a full pill every 6 hours, I should do half a pill and then eventually down to a quarter. That worked out well Tuesday and Wednesday but on Thursday night, not so much. The fact I had visitors all day may have contributed to the fact I was in so much pain at the end of the night, which led to a few more tears. So I took a full pill at night and another in the morning, and then back to a half pill and so far it's been ok. The bad is also that this medication is so strong that it had been suppressing my usual leg pains and with its decrease, my old friends have come back in full force so it's hard to find a position to be comfortable in. I plan on calling the doctor's office tomorrow to see if there's any medication I can substitute it with that may have the same positive effect on my body. 

Even with the bad, I am ecstatic and cannot wait til June 1 to get to see my new footsie again :)


Anonymous said...

Hi there, how are you feeling? Congrats on the successful surgery and new cast. I had my cast changed 2 weeks ago and was pretty nervous when i saw the saw but it wasn't bad in the end I just hate the cast, so uncomfortable at times. I had a fracture, no surgery just yet as long as I show signs of healing otherwise I will need it. Do you mind if I ask who your doctor is? I need a second opinion and not thrilled with my current doctor. Feel free to email me, Dave

Anonymous said...

Hi girl!!!!
I never saw such a beautiful foot before!!
I am very glad for you and proud of you at the same time, you are so brave..
God bless you
Love u!

Cibele said...

Hi Michelle,
I knew about your strong desire to see your "new" foot so I started to "share" this feeling with you. And now I decided to check your blog to see if you have news about that and....there you are!!! The "new foot"!!! So pretty!!! I loved!!
You are doing great...

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