Showing posts with label Chronic Pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chronic Pain. Show all posts

Thursday, October 11, 2012

When Things Were Simpler...

In our society, progress is something that has propelled us onto bigger, better and easier things. Being an 80's child, I remember when things were a lot simpler...before cell phones, computers, iPads, wifi, etc. It was a simpler time when kids were kids longer, when we played outside until our moms called us in for dinner, when we dropped by friends and family's houses without having to call first, when we rode our bikes without helmets...I love and am totally addicted to the comforts of modern life, but there are times when I miss when things were less complicated.
When things were really simple...

When things were simpler, I was just a clumsy girl who fell a lot but I walked with no problems, I wore shoes when I felt like it, I danced to my favorite bands all night long and I didn't have a care in the world beyond my sisters annoying me or wanting to borrow my clothes all the time. When things were simpler, life was uncomplicated, health wasn't something I particularly thought of very often, because I had it.

It's been almost eight years since my CMT diagnosis and easily over ten since my symptoms started to show and really bother me. Eight years isn't exactly a long time in the big scheme of things: it's two World Cups, two presidential terms, two Olympic games, it's going through high school and college...but in the scheme of my life, eight years has changed things in ways I would have never expected.

In my personal life, my sisters moved back to Brazil, I graduated college, met and married my best friend, moved from NJ to CT, became a first time homeowner, and blossomed into an adult. In my CMT life, things changed drastically. I went from ignoring my diagnosis for a couple of years to a hot pursuit of answers and medical help. I had two reconstructive surgeries on my feet and another minor surgery in search of pain relief. I've met a slew of doctors, surgeons, and neurologists...some of which helped me immensely and others who upset me more than they'll ever know for things said without thinking. I progressed from an active and outgoing girl who loved to dance to a girl who doesn't go out often without fully analyzing where, when, how long, how far, who is going and if there is seating. I went from avoiding medication at all costs to not being able to deal with my pain without them. I went from regular walking to less and less walking, to the wheelchair and now to the scooter.


Life with CMT is full of ups and downs, both physically and emotionally. Just as you are getting comfortable with a change in your condition, things change without your noticing and you have to adjust your mindset. Some adjustments are easier to accept than others. Sometimes it feels like you're in a constant state of mourning...mourning things you could do that you no longer can, mourning the person you used to be and adjusting to who you are becoming. Even mourning the future...the dreaded how-will-I-be-in-five-years question. It's never a good idea to dwell on these changes too much...it brings on too many feelings, and most of them are not the rainbow-filled, peaches and cream kind. Sometimes it is good to acknowledge those feelings though, throw a heck of a pity party for yourself, and then move on.

There are so many things I miss...things that I'm sure most people take for granted. Taking a walk at the beach, walking the mall, dancing the night away...But I have also realized that I am no longer the same person. I am more mature, I appreciate the little things in life, I am grateful for the days when life is good and CMT is taking a hike, I sympathize with the pain of others in a way I never could before, I am so grateful for the people in my life who are such a strong support system, and I am thankful to God, that even though He gave me an obstacle in life, it's one I can endure and He gave me as many cushions as He probably could without taking away the lesson.

When things started to get complicated...
I think CMT'ers are much stronger people than they get credit for. We are all struggling with this invisible condition that many people aren't even aware of and we are trying to do it all with a smile on our faces. It's a constant battle between body and mind...our body wants to give up and our minds are refusing to let it. Progress hasn't been a friend to my body, but I pray that this same progress leads researchers and scientists towards a treatment that will help us all.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

CMT and Pain

There are many different symptoms that identify CMT. Not only is our condition the most commonly inherited neuropathy, but it also manifests itself differently from patient to patient. One of these symptoms that I would like to discuss, which is not exactly accepted by all doctors, is pain.

According to Wikipedia, pain is an unpleasant feeling often caused by intense or damaging stimuli, such as stubbing a toe, burning a finger, or putting alcohol on a cut. The International Association for the Study of Pain's widely used definition states: "Pain is an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage, or described in terms of such damage."

Pain is what led me to my Charcot-Marie-Tooth diagnosis and my pain has evolved over the years. Back then, I had pain on the balls of my feet because of my calluses and felt pain with each step. Then I began having a lot of "charley horses," pain in my calves, which I still have to this day. My most challenging form of pain wouldn't make its appearance until years later - my thighs. It's a strange form of pain, hard to describe. It feels like pressure, as if there is something permanently suffocating my thighs. This last type has become my biggest concern as it just refuses to go away, ever! It's my companion 24 hours a day...always present in my life. As I have described in earlier posts, I have started to take medication and do therapy that help give me some relief. However, many doctors still do not accept the idea that CMT causes pain. They try to tell you that you must have another unknown condition. As if one invisible disease wasn't enough! 

It can be extremely frustrating to try to persuade a medical professional of a symptom you have that is being caused by an actual diagnosis you have. The more and more I speak to different CMT'ers throughtout the world, I am convinced that pain indeed is a symptom of CMT. It would be great if we and the professionals who can help us were on the same page.

I wanted to write this post because I recently found out about an organization that very much cares about pain and is doing everything it can to help me and people like me. One of my dearest friends from church and I have always had a very special bond. She has a neurological condition and also has feet and pain problems. I always say that she's my body double! She recently attended a conference organized by the International Association for the Study of Pain (IASP), mentioned in Wikipedia quote above. She returned from this event extremely excited because this is a very serious organization, highly respected in the science world that focuses on research about pain. She told me that there were over 7,700 individuals from all over the world at this conference; discussing updates, presenting new ideas, and exchanging information. All of these professionals had one goal in mind: helping to alleviate pain, physical or emotional.

Over 1,000 professionals during one of the sessions.

I just wanted to share this information because it gave me a lot of hope and maybe it can do the same for you. It's great to know that there are thousands of people out there looking for a way to help ease our pain and suffering, and not only professionals in the CMT field. I am not holding my breath that there will be a cure in my lifetime, but I am very hopeful that I will be able to live happier, less pain-filled days sometime in my future.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

FINALLY...Something's Working!!!

As someone who has tried such a multitude of medications, you're always a bit skeptical about starting anything new...and the new prescriptions I got didn't exactly start to work right away, as the doc said it would take a couple of weeks, but it was driving me insane to deal with so much pain...and with that much pain comes tears, emotions, etc etc...

However, they FINALLY kicked in about 10 days ago and I have been feeling GREAT!!! My pain is down to a much more manageable level and I'm even waking up pretty pain-free, compared to the mornings when I'm writhing in bed with pain and it takes me a while to get up. I can't even begin to explain how grateful and relieved I am!!!

Unfortunately, my insurance did not approve the medication for the chronic fatigue (something about it not being FDA approved), so I will have to wait until my follow up appointment next week to see if we could try something else to give me a boost at the beginning of the day...I am just praying that these meds LAST! I could use feeling a little normal for a while :)

Thursday, May 17, 2012

New Prescription Cocktail

Ohhh the life of a CMT'er!!! To try over and over again to find a set of medications that may help improve our quality of life, battle constant chronic pain and possibly lift us out of our chronic fatigue. I have searched high and low for different doctors, different types of doctors, new meds and I'm still searching for something that will help me - as I am sure are many people with CMT and other neuropathies.

One of my fellow pool therapy buddies recommended I go see her pain management doctor who helps her a lot and he is located in the next town over so I figured I should give it a shot. I made the appointment for yesterday and the hubs came along with me (it's always good for me to go with someone because I can NEVER remember everything I plan to say or ask).

We arrived for the 12pm appointment and weren't called in to the office until 1:30pm!!!! This is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves. What is the point of scheduling a time if you're going to keep me waiting so long? And, in case you missed it, I am going to see the doc for pain, so to leave me waiting that long is not making my body feel any better. We almost asked for the co-pay back and walked out when they finally called us in. My first impression so far was not good.

Thankfully, the doctor was very nice and helpful. I am only his THIRD CMT patient ever (Shocker!) - I am just glad at least that I wasn't the first! He listened to my entire history and we begun discussing what could possibly work and what approach I should take. At the end of our chat, we have added 4 new meds to my daily routine to start off with - well, 3 new meds and 1 vitamin. Two of the meds are for pain and one is for chronic fatigue, which is honestly the one I'm most excited to try.

I am cautiously optimistic about the possibilities and hope at least one of these will help me find some relief. The plan is to try them out for a month and go back to him for a follow up. I am crossing my fingers that I have good news then...wish me luck!

Monday, March 19, 2012

Yay and Nay!

Today is a happy and sad day for me....After MUCH deliberation and soul searching, I quit my job. Yup! I've been putting this off for months now hoping that I'd start to feel better, bounce back and continue with my regular routine. Working and doing physical therapy has taken a huge toll on my body and I've been exhausted and in a lot of pain! My bosses were super nice and supportive...one of them even volunteered to have a dress down day at work to raise awareness and money for research...

As scary as it was to talk to my bosses, I have to say I'm pretty relieved it's all out in the open and that the decision has been made. I always struggle with making the decision but once that's done, I'm glad to follow through. It's sad to leave a job I really like at a great company. It's sad to think I'm only 31 and these are the cards I'm being dealt at the moment but I'm also very happy to know I won't have to deal with obligations, that I won't have to make myself get up in the mornings when the pain is too strong or call out sick. I'm happy that I'll be more rested and I'll get to do my physical therapy and pool therapy each week. I'm looking forward to being able to enjoy life a little more and not throw myself in bed to rest every day after coming home.

I'm praying that God will lead the way and that things will be ok. At least it's spring and the weather is starting to cheer up. Really hope that CMT will take a back seat in my life now that I'm accommodating it.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Howdy!

Hi Friends!!!

I feel like a HUGE slacker since I haven't been writing often, or at all. I was looking at how many entries I wrote when I first started my blog compared to now and the numbers are a little embarrassing. There has been a lot going on, lots on my mind, but just haven't had the motivation to write much. I've been struggling a lot with what decisions to make about life...some of them very permanent choices.

On a happy note, since I last wrote, I am now a happily married Mrs...our wedding was very private and special...I had the wonderful pleasure of having one of my sisters here from Brazil for my birthday...I just got tickets to go to an Oprah show early next month...I had two great conversations with two CMT buddies that I have "known" in the online world for a while...I looked into possibly starting a support group only to find out there's one already underway nearby...

On a CMT note, I have been soooo drained of energy, so constantly exhausted. I have been trying to manage going to physical therapy and hydrotherapy once a week each and finally last night I came to the realization that I just can't manage that while I'm still working. For about 5-6 weeks, I'd go to work feeling great and not be able to get out of bed on the weekends from pain and exhaustion. I'm wondering if work is really what I should be doing right now, instead of working on my health. There is no easy answer. I think I know what I should be doing...but I'm only 31...and my life now is vastly different from what I thought it would be when I was in college.

To say that I had a few difficult months physically and emotionally is an understatement but I really feel like I have bounced back. I still have my days like today...when the pain is worse and it drives me to tears because there's nothing else to do. But at the same time, the weather is changing, the sun is out, the coats can stay home and soon spring will be here. Like anything else, little by little we move away from the winter doldrums into a happy blossoming spring...just like in life. I'm really excited for what this year can possibly bring and having some major positive changes in my life. And I hope to write my thoughts a bit more again...I always enjoyed this process and the feedback...

Monday, February 20, 2012

Understand Someone With Chronic Pain

This is by far the BEST article to describe Chronic Pain and how we feel. This is a great tool to share with family and friends to help them better understand: Understand Someone With Chronic Pain

Having chronic pain means many things change, and a lot of them are invisible. Unlike having cancer or being hurt in an accident, most people do not understand even a little about chronic pain and its effects, and of those that think they know, many are actually misinformed.

In the spirit of informing those who wish to understand: These are some things that can help you to understand, and help, people who suffer from, often debilitating, chronic pain.

Steps:
1. Remember that being sick doesn't mean that the sufferer is no longer a human being. Often the chronic pain sufferer spends most of their day in considerable pain and exhaustion. If you visit or live with them, they may not seem like much fun to be with, but they are still as aware as you of everything and have needs just like you, but they're more or less stuck inside a body with constant issues over which they have little or no control. Just like you, they still worry about studies, work, family, friends, and most of the time, would like to hear you talk about your interests and happenings, too.

2. Learn the code. Chronic pain sufferers will often talk differently from people free from constant pain. Living with fatigue, irritability, and sadness at their plight, many sufferers learn to bottle up their feelings and use code to cover up the level of pain. There's also a number scale for pain that doctors teach chronic pain patients early in their treatment. By habit, they may describe their pain on a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is "no pain at all, feel wonderful" and 10 is the worst pain they ever had in their life. Their pain level ten may be outside your experience, it depends on what you've been through in life.
  • Don't assume that just because the chronic pain sufferer grits their teeth and says that they're fine that they are. They could very well be covering up, fed up with the lack of understanding in others as to the constancy of their pain.
  • Accept that words may be inadequate to describe how the sufferer is truly feeling. Think about a time when you experienced pain, like a broken leg, or a very nasty virus that pounded at your head and every muscle in your body. And multiply that and think of it being constant, every day, without respite. It's hard to find the words for that sort of pain.
3. Recognize the difference between "happy" and "healthy". When you've got the flu, you probably feel miserable with it, but chronic pain sufferers have often been sick for years and their pain-filled lives have caused them to adopt coping mechanisms that are not necessarily reflecting the real level of pain they're in. They don't want to be miserable all the time but they often have to work hard at not being miserable. So, if you're talking to them, and they sound happy, it means they are happy, that's all. It doesn't mean that they're not in a lot of pain, or that they're not extremely tired, or that they're getting better, and so forth.
  • Respect that the person who is in pain is trying their best. Avoid saying, "Oh, you're sounding better!" or "But you look so healthy!" They are merely coping; sounding happy and trying to look normal. If you want to comment on that, it's certainly welcomed.
  • Look for the signs of pain over the words, so that you can read between the lines. Things that will belie the chipper attitude include restlessness, shifting about, grimacing when they think you're not noticing, sweating, sleep disturbance, teeth grinding, poor concentration, decreased activity, and perhaps even writing down suicidal thoughts or language
4. Listen. The previous two steps made it clear that chronic pain sufferers can speak in code or make lighter of their pain than is the reality. The next best thing that you can do is to listen to them properly, and to make it clear that you both want to hear what they have to say and that you really have heard it. Use your listening skills to decode what they're hiding or minimizing.

5. Understand and respect the chronic pain sufferer's physical limitations. Being able to stand up for ten minutes doesn't necessarily mean that the sufferer can stand up for twenty minutes, or an hour, or give you a repeat performance whenever. Just because the person managed to stand up for thirty minutes yesterday doesn't imply that they will be able to do the same today. With a lot of diseases, a person may exhibit obvious signs of immobility, such as paralysis, or total immobilization due to weakness, etc. With chronic pain however, it is confusing to both the sufferer and the onlooker, and their ability to cope with movement can be like a yo-yo. The sufferer may not know, from day-to-day, how they are going to feel when they wake up and each day has to be taken as it comes. In many cases, they don't know from minute to minute. That is one of the hardest and most frustrating components of chronic pain.
  • Insert "sitting", "walking", "thinking", "concentrating", "being sociable" and so on, to this step, as the curtailment on a sufferer's ability to be responsive applies to everything that you'd expect a person in good health to be able to do. That's what chronic pain does to its sufferers.
6. Leave your "pep talk" mode for your kids and your gym buddies. Realizing that chronic pain is variable, keep in mind that pep talk can be aggravating and demoralizing for the chronic pain sufferer. As already noted, it's quite possible (for many, it's common) that one day they're able to walk to the park and back, while the next day they'll have trouble getting to the next room. Therefore, it's vital that you don't fall into the trap of saying: "But you did it before!" or "Oh, come on, I know you can do this!" If you want them to do something, then ask if they can and respect their answer.
  • Get over the need to give platitudes about the value of exercising and fresh air. For a chronic pain sufferer, "getting out and doing things" does not make the pain vanish and can often exacerbate the problems. Bear in mind that you don't know what they go through or how they suffer in their own private time. Telling them that they need to exercise, or do some things to "get their mind off of it", may frustrate them to tears, and is not correct advice, especially if you're not medically trained and haven't got a clue. If they were capable of doing some things any or all of the time, they would.
  • Remember that chronic pain sufferers are constantly working with doctors and striving to improve and do the right things for their illness. Another statement that hurts is, "You just need to push yourself more, try harder". Obviously, chronic pain can deal with the whole body, or be localized to specific areas. Sometimes participating in a single activity for a short or a long period of time can cause more damage and physical pain; not to mention the recovery time, which can be intense. You can't always read it on their face or in their body language. Also, chronic pain may cause secondary depression (wouldn't you get depressed and down if you were hurting constantly for months or years?), but it is not created by depression.
7. Never use throwaway lines. Assuming you know best by making such statements as "Ah well, that's life, you'll just have to deal with it", or "You'll get over it eventually. Until then, you'll just have to do your best", or worst of all, "Well, you look well enough", etc., are lines that might make you feel done and dusted with the topic but they are both a form of distancing yourself from the person and making the sufferer feel worse and out of hope. Psychologist Mark Grant suggests that you throw lifelines rather than throwaway lines, by saying something like: "So how have you survived?"
  • Admit it when you don't have answers. Don't paper over your ignorance with platitudes or bold allegations not based on fact. There is no harm in saying "I don't know" and then offering to find things out.
 8. Check your own patience. If you're impatient and want them to "just get on with it", you risk laying a guilt trip on the person who is suffering from pain and undermining their determination to cope. They probably have the will to comply with your requests to go out and about with them but have neither the strength nor the coping capacity as a result of the pain.
  • A chronic pain sufferer may need to cancel a previous commitment at the last minute. If this happens, please do not take it personally. If you are able, please try to always remember how very lucky you are, to be physically able to do all of the things that you can do.
  • Be very understanding if the chronic pain sufferer says they have to sit down, lie down, stay in bed, or take these pills right now. It probably means that they do have no choice but to do it right now, and it can't be put off or forgotten just because they happen to be somewhere, or they're right in the middle of doing something. Chronic pain does not forgive, nor does it wait for anyone.
9. Be sensitive when suggesting medicines or alternative treatments. Prescription drugs, over-the-counter medicines and alternative therapies can have side effects and unintended consequences. Some may not appreciate suggestions, and it's not because they don't want to get well. They may have heard of it or tried it already or some may not be ready to cope with new treatment that can create an additional burden on their already over-burdened lives. Treatments that haven't worked carry the emotional pain of failure, which in and of itself can make the person feel even lower. Of course, if there were something that cured, or even helped people with a particular form of chronic pain, then they should be made aware of it. There is worldwide networking (both on and off the Internet) between people with chronic pain. Those can be good resources. Be sensitive in how you bring it up.
  • On the other hand, never be afraid to ask them about how satisfied they are with their treatment. Mark Grant says that it is important to ask helpful questions about whether the chronic sufferer thinks their treatment is satisfactory or if they think their pain is bearable. He suggests that people rarely ask these open-ended "helpful questions" that would help the chronic sufferer to open up and really talk.
10. Don't be put off if the chronic pain sufferer seems touchy. If that's the appearance, it's probably because they are. It's not how they try to be. As a matter of fact, they try very hard to be normal. Just try to understand. They have been going through a lot. Chronic pain is hard to understand unless you have had it. It wreaks havoc on the body and the mind. It is exhausting and exasperating. Almost all the time, they do their best to cope with this, and live their lives to the best of their ability. Just accept them as they are.

11. Be helpful. The chronic pain sufferer depends a great deal on people who are not sick to support them at home or visit them when they're too sick to go out. Sometimes they need help with shopping, cooking, or cleaning. Others may need help with their kids. They may need help getting to the doctor, or to the store. You can be their link to the "normalcy" of life. You can help them keep in touch with the parts of life that they miss and desperately want to undertake again.

12. Balance your carer responsibilities. If you are living with a chronic pain sufferer or supporting such a person on a regular basis, you need to maintain balance in your life. If you don't take care of your own needs, health, and work-life balance, being around the chronic pain sufferer can bring you down even though you're probably trying hard not to be. Avoid suffering from carer burn-out by getting other people to help, taking time out, and curtailing your guilt trips. Care for this person as much as you're able but also care for yourself.